| | A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 |  |
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Maccaz
Forum Mod
Posts : 870
Join date : 2009-04-23
Location : Adelaide, Australia
|  Subject: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09  Sat 09 May 2009, 10:50 | |
| How to kill a mutated, rabies invested, bloodsucking, diseased ridden panda from outer space
1. Capture a female panda in a net by luring it in with rotten bananas
2. Present the female panda as a blood sacrifice
3. Go down to your local pet store and buy several kilograms of cockroaches
4. Pour them over the diseased panda’s tail so the cockroaches carry away the disease
5. Combine 250L of milk with 150L of cream and leave in the sun for 5 days to curdle
6. Pour into a large spa bath and soak the panda in the bath for 24 hours
7. Buy a rubber chicken from Cheap as Chips
8. Break off a thorn of a red rose and stick it into the lower back of the panda and use the rubber chicken to hammer it in
9. Pull out an eyelash with nail clippers to make the panda cry
10. Combine the tears with 3L of Methylated Spirits and 1 zest of lemon in a bucket by beating it with an electric mixer
11. Pour down the diseased panda’s seven throats using an upside funnel
12. Go to France and buy 10 frogs and 50 flies
13. Cut legs of frogs of and snip wing of flies off
14. Place in a large bowl of a water and leave in fridge overnight
15. Use a paintbrush to coat panda with frog leg, fly wings marinade
16. Buy a tiger cub from an illegal immigrant salesperson
17. Carve out the eyes with a desert spoon
18. Whittle out the pupils of the panda and replace with the tiger eyes
19. Buy a Dalmatian from a local pet store
20. Whack the panda senseless with the Dalmatian until the Dalmatian bleeds.
21. Pull out the front tooth of the panda with pliers
22. Hollow out with a wooden toothpick
23. Reattach tooth with super glue
24. Go on a houseboat on the Murray River
25. Jump in the river and wrestle with a crocodile
26. Kill with a plank of wood with a rusty nail in the end
27. Pour the crocodile saliva through the hollow tooth
28. Put the panda on a children’s merry go round
29. Stab multiple times with a fork
30. Serve for lunch, complete with the all the animals you have just killed
31. Watch Shaun of the Dead and then go to bed© Traehdliw09 2009 | |
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TeL
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Posts : 296
Join date : 2009-05-04
Age : 103
Location : Philippines
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Sat 09 May 2009, 12:10 | |
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Dooshbag
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Posts : 652
Join date : 2009-04-23
Age : 39
Location : Oregon
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Sat 09 May 2009, 12:39 | |
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Jazz™
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Posts : 1219
Join date : 2009-04-15
Age : 31
Location : Philippines
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Sat 09 May 2009, 14:42 | |
| ur cruel to animals  | |
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Maccaz
Forum Mod
Posts : 870
Join date : 2009-04-23
Location : Adelaide, Australia
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Sun 10 May 2009, 04:32 | |
| Im not cruel, just putting them in a story that it is fiction. | |
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mr_evolution
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Posts : 159
Join date : 2009-04-24
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Sun 10 May 2009, 05:03 | |
| Sounds like a fun weekend for me | |
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Yaboirobby
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Posts : 4322
Join date : 2009-05-21
Age : 29
Location : Atlanta, GA
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Wed 05 Aug 2009, 03:17 | |
| That was cruel, yet hilarious. | |
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Maccaz
Forum Mod
Posts : 870
Join date : 2009-04-23
Location : Adelaide, Australia
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Wed 05 Aug 2009, 08:30 | |
| - Yaboirobby wrote:
- That was cruel, yet hilarious.
I did it for english class. | |
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FlamingToaster
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Posts : 724
Join date : 2009-04-16
Age : 44
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Wed 05 Aug 2009, 10:36 | |
| lol what did your teacher think of it? | |
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Maccaz
Forum Mod
Posts : 870
Join date : 2009-04-23
Location : Adelaide, Australia
| | Subject: Re: A Weird Story by Traehdliw09 Wed 05 Aug 2009, 12:20 | |
| - FlamingToaster wrote:
- lol what did your teacher think of it?
Original, creative and good marks ^_^ | |
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